The Hidden Truth About How To Heal From Porn Addiction

Sometimes people who suffer from porn addiction believe that healing happens solely in behavioral changes. In other words they think that it’s just a matter of stopping the acting out behavior and then everything will get better. This is far from the truth. While stopping the behavior that is causing problems is the goal, the behavior is only a symptom of a deeper issue. Healing and long term abstinence is about healing of the underlying causes.

Many years ago, when I was in treatment for substance use a counselor of mine told me that I didn’t have a drinking problem but a “life problem”. He explained that while I certainly did have a drinking problem, the real problem was not so much in the behavior of drinking but in “why” I was drinking. That drinking was my solution to my life problem. It was what I did to cope with my life issues. This later became true for me in recovery from sex addiction.

This realization changed how I approach my recovery and informed my treatment approach with clients. Why? Because it made me realize that the path to long term abstinence is not only behavior change but healing the underlying issues that the person uses porn to “medicate”. Once the life issue is healed it becomes much easier for them to refrain from their compulsive behavior because their inner turmoil is diminished to a point where they do not need to cope with sexual acting out.

But What Does This Inner Healing Entail?

This is different for everyone because not everyone has the same level of inner distress. However, there is some guiding principles that create the framework for healing

1) Stopping the compulsive use of porn as well and other disruptive sexual behavior. The brain and body need time to heal from the intense euphoria created when acting out or using porn. Healing needs to take place from an abstinence standpoint. In other words, creating a clear bottom line and a behavior structure designed to help the person get the support they need in the early days of abstinence.

2) Creating self awareness and a life narrative. For lack of sounding overly simplistic, healing the underlying issues starts with increasing self-awareness and honesty with self. In therapy it’s vital to take the client through a process of self discovery that not only helps them create a life narrative but also allows them to increase self-awareness. It’s under the spotlight of this awareness that the person begins to transmute their underlying issues and can change both internally and externally. This is how healing takes place. And this healing decreases the urges to act out significantly. And with decreased urges it become easy to stay away from use of porn.

Need Help?

If porn addiction is becoming difficult to manage and you’re open to getting support, you can contact me below and we’ll explore whether porn addiction coaching is the best approach for you.