There are as many theories in coaching in general as there are mental health and/or addiction disorders. It is difficult to navigate what approach will help for what type of issue. If you Google “help for depression” you will see hundreds of approaches all claiming to be the answer to this problem. Sex addiction help is no different. How then is a person struggling with sex addiction to make an informed decision?
The first thing to consider is whether the coach has specialized knowledge and experience working with sex addiction. This can come in many forms. A specific certification as a Certified Sex Addiction Specialist, personal lived experience and/or a mental health license that qualifies them to work independently. These are all good things to know, however what’s more important than any certification is that you make a good “connection” with the person trying to help AND that you understand clearly the recovery process they will take you through to deal with your problem. Be sure to have a lengthy conversation with your prospective coach before making the decision to work with them. Most coaches will offer a free consultation to see if it is a good fit. If not you should ask for it.
One of the key indicators of your success is the quality of the relationship you have with your helper. In other words you need to feel that this person understands on a very deep level the pain and struggle of your situation, understands the nature of addiction and understands how difficult it is to stop compulsive sexual behavior. Your connection with someone who truly understands is half the battle. Having a meaningful connection with your helper creates a safe space for honesty and vulnerability which is indispensable in sex addiction recovery. With this starting point you are more likely to take the actions that will help you. And it’s the action you take that is more important than the actual intervention or theories the coach uses. Here is why I think this:
If you look at most theories, interventions and/or approaches to coaching, they all have one thing in common. The cultivation of mindful awareness. What I tell my clients is the extent by which they are self aware and honest is the extent by which they can be well. Awareness equals wellness and healing. No matter what approach the coach takes they must have a process whereby the client is asked to look at themselves and be honest about what they are seeing. Their thoughts, their behaviors and their internal/external experiences. Seeing oneself clearly is the starting point for healing. And therefore change in their behavior. The principle of taking action to become more self aware is in of itself more important than the actual modality.
Another helpful thing to consider is how structured or organized the coach’s recovery program is. Some people benefit from a defined system or curriculum that offers weekly goals, tasks, or exercises, while others might prefer a more flexible, conversational approach. Ask questions about how sessions are run, what expectations exist between meetings, and how progress is tracked. Some coaches may offer group support alongside one-on-one sessions, which can be especially helpful when trying to break feelings of isolation. There’s no perfect formula — only what fits your needs best.
The key to finding the right sex addiction recovery coach: 1) Finding someone who has experience and expertise in sexual addiction. 2) Finding someone that is empathetic and has the ability to connect with you on a deep level. AND 3) Can help you with a healing process that cultivates self-awareness and honesty.
If sex addiction is creating challenges in your life and you’re open to getting support, please contact me below so we can explore whether sex addiction coaching is the right choice for you.
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